How learning to listen to your body can turn self-nurture into a daily practice of care.

Maybe you recognise this: it’s 07:30 on a weekday. Before you’ve even attended to the very basic human requirement of coffee, your mind has already switched into action mode. A brimming inbox. A phone that keeps pinging. Breakfast to make. The clock ticking in the background. Your heart racing slightly as you mentally line up everything that needs to be done. All this before caffeine or a shower should really not be allowed. 

At times like this, our instinct is usually to speed up: clear the counter, answer the messages, somehow get ahead of the day before it properly begins. For many of us, it’s ingrained that productivity comes first – that tending to everything else matters more than tending to ourselves. So what if you did something slightly different? 

In that same hectic morning moment, instead of rushing straight into the day’s demands, you stop. Maybe you lean against the counter for a second, look out the window, or take a proper sip of coffee. No task. No scrolling. No mental to-do list. Just you, your body and your breath. And for a moment, you notice how you actually feel before you move. 

Self-care vs self-nurture (and why it matters)  

That small pause is a form of self-nurture. It’s a feeling you might recognise from a vacation: those slow moments at the end of the day when there’s nowhere to rush to and nothing you urgently need to do. It’s about allowing that kind of pause to exist in ordinary life too – even if it’s just for a minute in the middle of a busy morning.  

Research on “micro-breaks” by psychologist Patricia Albulescu shows short pauses during the day help the brain recover from mental strain and restore focus. In other words, simply stopping for a moment and checking in with how you feel isn’t indulgent, it’s restorative. 

We talk a lot about self-care: the bubble bath, the yoga class, the Sunday reset. And while those things absolutely have their place, self-nurture works a little differently. Rather than being something we schedule or treat ourselves to occasionally, self-nurture is the ongoing relationship we have with ourselves throughout the day. It doesn’t require a new routine or a lifestyle overhaul. More often, it happens in small, almost ordinary moments between everything else.  

Self-nurture won’t look the same for everyone. For some, it’s as simple as going to bed earlier. For others, it’s noticing the moment when things start to feel a little too much: the hectic workday, the constant demands of parenting, a mind that’s constantly on, or just one of those days where everything feels slightly off. 

Whatever it is that knocks you off balance, the pause matters. In simple terms, self-nurture is about paying attention, and letting that guide what happens next. 

Your body knows first 

You can often feel it in the pace of your decisions,” says Amsterdam-based Self-Healing Guide Amy Maxwell. “If you’re making choices from a place of urgency, reactivity or subtle panic, that’s usually your nervous system speaking before your intuition does. When you’re in sync – even if a decision is bold or slightly scary – it still feels centred.” 

Being physically out of sync can appear in less obvious ways too: shallow breathing, poor sleep, constant fatigue, or saying “yes” when your body is quietly asking for a “no”. “Your body always knows first,” Amy adds. “The question is whether we’re listening.” Her own reset is simple. “When I feel rushed or busy, I pause between breaths. I take a long inhale and a slower exhale. It brings me back into the moment.”

Start small: 60-second resets  

And when there isn’t time for a full routine, she keeps it even smaller. “I try to give myself a small gift each morning before I give to anyone else,” she says. “Sometimes that’s placing my hands on my heart and thanking my body for being alive. Sometimes it’s movement or journaling. But it’s always something kind, first.”  

We often reach for self-care after we’ve gone too far. Self-nurture keeps you connected as you go, so you don’t tip. It can start anywhere. Drop your shoulders if they’ve crept towards your ears. Take one slow breath before opening your laptop. Say “not yet” to one non-urgent ask. 

Think of it as your body sending your mind a little message. You might hear it tomorrow morning, standing in your kitchen at 07:30, waiting for the coffee to brew. 

Try it today 

• 30 seconds: drop your shoulders; unclench your jaw. 

• One breath: inhale for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat twice. 

• Tiny boundary: say “not yet” to one non-urgent ask. 

• Before you give: place a hand on your heart; say “thank you, body.”